Facial hair—some men have it, others don’t. For those who have it, it’s not always enough to just let it hang as it was intended. They have to get a little creative with it. Because, well, we’re not sure why, exactly. Just because they can, we guess. But it’s one thing to give the beard and mustache a trim and another to do something completely out there. What does a handlebar mustache look like.
We hope they like attention because they have to get stares for these interesting facial-hairdos. We have to wonder if they wear looks like these on a daily basis, or only for special occasions. Some of the styles have to be redone every time they shower while others are more permanent and are only removed by shaving more off.
15 For that black tie event
There are certain men who loath black tie events. Who wants to get all dressed up in that penguin costume and prance around uncomfortably all night? Well, this guy doesn’t have to worry about his tie being too tight. In fact, he’s not going to wear one at all. It wouldn’t show anyway underneath his beard tie. Yes, that’s right, his beard is a tie. How long did it take to tie the beard in this manner? And will it chafe his date when they dance? Hopefully it wasn’t supposed to match her gown because we’re pretty certain she’s not wearing a beard-colored dress. If he doesn’t already have a date, chances are he won’t pick up anyone new at the event. Who wants to try and untie this thing?
14 Princess Leia buns—on the cheeks
Plenty of women want to look like Princess Leia because there are plenty of men who are obsessed with her. Especially when it comes to bathing suit season and there are ample gold bathing suit options on the racks. But there aren’t many men who try to look like Princess Leia. And even if they did make an attempt, they would grow their hair long or get a wig. They certainly wouldn’t make buns out of their beards and place them on their cheeks, now, would they? Well, this man did! Maybe it’s hot and he wanted to keep the hair off his neck or something. It just looks like an awful lot of trouble for a man to go to when it comes to a beard design.
13 The spikes of death
Not all men like people being close to them, but this man keeps his distance from others and even allows them a warning signal to stay away. Don’t hug this man—you might lose an eye. Don’t get too close in the line at the store—you might pop your child’s balloon. Does he perfect this look daily in order to scare people off or is this only when he’s going to be in large crowds and wants his space? He certainly can’t sleep this way, unless he always lies on his back, or he would have feathers flying all around his room in no time. Hopefully if this is his normal look, he has stock in wax or mousse or whatever he uses to create the spikes in the first place.
12 The hypnotizing swirl
You might think that this guy has trouble getting dates, but in reality, he can get any woman to date him. All he has to do is raise his head this way and spin really fast and he hypnotizes her into thinking his beard design is really awesome and she must date him immediately. Keeping up with this design isn’t easy. It’s not like he just carved it in there and can leave it alone. This is the type of guy that gets a serious 5 o’clock shadow. This design has to be redone on a daily basis in order to get the full effect. And if you’re going to have this design on your face, you likely want the full effect, for whatever reason.
11 For the true Batman fan
There are plenty of people out there who like their superheroes. And whichever one you prefer, you might buy on t-shirts or in collectible figurine form. But would you really put your favorite on your face for all to see? Well, this guy did! He doesn’t need a light in order to call Batman to save the day. All he needs is his face. We’re hoping this was a good idea he had for Halloween, not for daily life. Because it’s a bit strange for an everyday office job. Unless he’s a telemarketer that customers never have to see. Otherwise, he’d have a lot of explaining to do and not much time for actual work. At least he can get rid of the bat with ease. A few more swipes with the razor and he’s gone.
10 What happens when there's a huge updraft
Some men spend a lot of time on their hair. And some even spend time on their facial hair. They want to look good! What’s wrong with that? Well, this guy has been growing his facial hair for a while and he even takes the time to shave his chin daily so he has the look he wants. But surely he didn’t curl the thing up like that on purpose, did he? There must have been a serious updraft when he was walking down the street that caught him off guard. Of course, then his hat would have blown off so perhaps he really did do this on purpose. But why would anyone want facial hair that covers the ears in a roundabout manner? It’s got to block his peripheral vision, too.
9 Flowers in the beard hair are the new thing
Women use all sorts of things to decorate their hair. You’ll see headbands, barrettes, rubber bands and even flowers on the right occasions. When a girl gets married, she often decorates her hair with flowers to accentuate her overall look and blend in with the flowers that are decorating the venue. But why would a man need to decorate his beard? Especially with flowers? It doesn't appear as if he’s waiting for a bride. Because he would likely have a shirt on for that occasion, right? So why the flowers? Was he rolling around in the brush and they just got stuck? If he’s making some kind of statement, we’d love to know what it is. It took time to stick those in there and it’ll take time to remove them.
8 It's easy to follow this beard
Some men like having facial hair so much that they rarely trim, or at least cut, their beards. They let it grow and grow. Now, most men just let the beard hang out and don’t do much to it other than remove food when it gets trapped in the beard during a meal. But this man will have none of that. He uses his beard like a compass or perhaps a multi-chain leash. All you have to do is grab one of the handles and you can lead him anywhere you need him to go. Or he can choose a spindle himself and go in that direction. This has to take some serious time in the morning. And they say women take forever to get ready!
7 The ringlets made of facial hair
Adding curled ringlets to a woman’s hair can be a very romantic look. It’s not something most guys would do to their own hair, but we’re not talking about most guys, here. We’re talking about guys with long and oddly shaped facial hair. This man probably looks quite normal with his beard on an average day. But for some reason, he feels the need to part his beard and give it some curl. If it’s a special occasion, okay then! Who wouldn’t want to curl their beard for a fancy event. Okay, so most guys wouldn't for any occasion, but it makes this man feel good so who are we to say it’s not the right choice for him. As odd as it may be for us to look at.
6 The ultimate handlebar mustache
There aren’t many villains in the old west movies that don’t have handlebar mustaches. And they are fitting for their crimes. But it’s been a long time since we’ve seen a handlebar mustache this long and thin. What does this thing look like before it’s all curled up like this? It just hangs down to his belly button on a normal day? Or does he really style it like this on a daily basis? What kind of comments does he endure? He’s always getting called out at the bank for trying to rob the train, even if there aren’t any trains in sight. Poor guy might be better off with a trim and a new style. At least he know he’ll always get the part when he’s up for the bad guy in any old west role.
5 The handlebar nest look
There are handlebar mustaches, as we’ve already seen, and then there are handlebar nests. This man doesn’t have anything skinny of any sort. He has full, bushy nest-like facial hair. He had better be careful where he goes because if he’s not paying attention, it’s all too easy for a bird to plop an egg or two down on one side and start a family. The bird wouldn’t even have to bring any sticks or bedding because the mustache is already a nest in place. At least he’s always have pretty songs in his ears and breakfast opportunities nearby. He certainly has no shortage of facial hair. Perhaps he should share the wealth and cut it off for wigs so children without hair can enjoy a nest too.
4 Anna with facial hair
We all know and adore the characters from the Frozen movie and we’re pretty sure this is what Anna would look like if she were a boy and grew facial hair as long as she possibly could. Having facial hair this long would be a real pain. We get why he might want to control it at times and keep it a bit more out of the way. Perhaps sometimes he pins the braids behind him so it doesn’t get stuck in certain things. When you think of double braids like these, they normally go on a little girl, not a grown man with a beard this long. But who are we to judge? This is his beard and he can braid it if he wants to!
3 The Cousin It of beards
Long hair can be fun to play with. There are so many things you can do with it! Both men and women with long hair can drape it over their faces and instantly become Cousin It from The Adams Family. But there aren’t that many people in the world who can do the same with their beard. Just fold it up over your face and there you go! We’re just hoping this was for picture purposes only. Because this guy surely can’t see anything at all through this massive mess. He better not try to drive, or even walk, anywhere. At least his eyes are doubly protected from the dangerous UV rays the sun puts out. If it’s really that cold, we recommend a face mask, not a long beard.
2 The ugly Christmas beard winner
It’s become a big thing to host or attend an ugly Christmas sweater party. There are such sweaters in every store, waiting for people to choose them and enjoy their ugliness. Some people even make their own or pull old ones from their closets to enter into such contests. We’re guessing this guy doesn’t like sweaters much so instead, he just decorated his beard. Or maybe he’s really into the Christmas spirit and does this on a daily basis throughout the holiday season. Whatever the case may be, if your facial hair is so thick that you can string lights this large through it and have them stick, it’s probably time for a trim. We want to see it light up first, but then definitely a trim.
1 The curliest of all facial hair designs
It’s kind of neat when a man has a handlebar mustache that can be curled for certain occasions. It can come off well around Halloween or for fun events. But when a man also has a long beard and continues the handlebar look, it can get to be a bit too much. What did he curl all this hair around to get each curl a bit larger than the last one? And how much time did it take? And why did he do this in the first place? There are men out there with way too much time on their hands when they are working on things like this instead of being productive individuals in society. Surely there’s a better way to spend time than playing with facial hair.
Read Next in Nope
We respect your privacy and we are committed to safeguarding your privacy while online at our site. The following discloses the information gathering and dissemination practices for this Web site.
TheThings (the “Website”) is owned and operated by Valnet inc. (“us” or “we”), a corporation incorporated under the laws of Canada, having its head office at 7405 Transcanada Highway, Suite 100, Saint Laurent, Quebec H4T 1Z2.
Personal Data Collected
When you visit our Website, we collect certain information related to your device, such as your IP address, what pages you visit on our Website, whether you were referred to by another website, and at what time you accessed our Website.
Like most standard Web site servers, we use log files. This includes internet protocol (IP) addresses, browser type, internet service provider (ISP), referring/exit pages, platform type, date/timestamp, and number of clicks to analyze trends, administer the site, track user’s movement in the aggregate, and gather broad demographic information for aggregate use.
We use the following type of cookies:
Essential cookies: these cookies are essential to the provision of our Website.
Functionality cookies: these cookies help us remember choices you have made while on our website, remember your preferences, and personalize your Website experience.
Analytics and performance cookies: these cookies help us collect statistical and analytical usage to help up analyze website usage.
Social media cookies: These cookies allow you to interact with content on certain social media platforms, such a “liking” our articles. Depending on your social media setting, the social media network will have record of this and may display your name or identifier in relation to this action.
Advertising and targeted advertising cookies: these cookies track your browsing habits and location to provide you with advertising in line with your interests. Please see our “advertisers” section below for details.
If you wish to disable cookies, you may do so through your individual browser options. For further information regarding cookies and how to manage them, please see http://www.allaboutcookies.org/.
We use pixel tags, which are small graphic files that allow us and our trusted third party partners to track your Website usage and collect usage data, including the number of pages you visit, the time you spend on each page, what you click on next, and other information about your Website visit.
We use third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit our Web site. These companies may use information (not including your name, address, email address or telephone number) about your visits to this and other Web sites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like more information about this practice and to know your choices about not having this information used by these companies, click here.
We have reviewed all of our advertising partners’ policies to ensure that they comply with all applicable data privacy laws and recommended data security practices.
We use the following advertisers:
This site contains links to other sites. Please be aware that we are not responsible for the privacy practices of such other sites. We encourage our users to be aware when they leave our site, and to read the privacy statements of each and every website that collects personally identifiable information. This privacy statement applies solely to information collected by this Website.
Purpose of Data Collection
We use the information we collect in order to:
Administer our Website, including troubleshooting, and statistical or data analysis;
To improve our Website and enhancing user experience by ensuring you have access to personalized content in line with your interests;
Analyze user use and optimize our services.
To ensure that our Website remains secure and is not subject to any hacking or fraud.
Share information with our partners to provide targeted advertising and social media features.
Data Shared with Third Parties
We do not sell or rent your personal data to third parties. However, our partners, including ad partners, may collect data in relation to your Website usage as disclosed herein. Please see our “advertisers” section above for details.
All data collected through our Website is stored on servers located in the United States. Our servers are certified under the EU-US Privacy Shield.
IP address and user agent string data from all visitors is stored in rotating log files on Amazon servers for up to 7 days. All of our employees, agents and partners are committed to keeping your data confidential.
People with mustaches
We have reviewed our partners privacy policies to ensure that they comply with similar policies in order to ensure your data security.
Consent under Applicable Laws
We comply with the IAB Europe Transparency & Consent Framework.
You can withdraw consent at any time. Withdrawing consent may impede your ability to access certain services and will not allow us to provide the personalized Website experience.
Our servers comply with ISO 27018, a code of practice that focuses on protection of personal data in the cloud. We comply with all reasonable precautions in order to ensure your data’s safety.
In the event that we become aware of any data security breach, alteration, unauthorized access or disclosure of any personal data, we will take all reasonable precautions to protect your data and will notify you as required by all applicable laws.
Accessing, Amending and Deleting your Data
You have the right to request information regarding the data we have on file for you, to request correction and/or deletions of your personal information. Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or at the postal address listed above, attention: Data compliance department.
This Website does not target people below the age of 16. By visiting this Website. You hereby warrant that you are 16 years of age or older or are visiting the Website under parental supervision.
Though we make every effort to preserve user privacy, we may need to disclose personal information when required by law wherein we have a good-faith belief that such action is necessary to comply with a current judicial proceeding, a court order or legal process served on any of our sites.
Notification of Changes
There are no comments for this post "Out Of Control Facial Hair Fails We Can't Believe Actually Exist". Be the first to comment...