How to draw a mustache on face. NFL Podium Fashion: Cam Newton s Outfit Mariota s Missing Mustache

As we come to the home stretch of the NFL season, it appears as though players have gone deeper into their bag of tricks when it comes to the postgame podium, where star players — particularly the consistently great Brock Osweiler — are bestowed with the opportunity to style and profile like Ric Flair, inevitably setting Twitter ablaze in an effort to get the attention of big brands so as to finally cement that elusive endorsement gig from a cat toy manufacturer in Taiwan. Moustache fashion 2016.

Sadly, we’re still waiting for some flashy showman to take it to this kind of next-level intensity.

But make no mistake about it, this weekly onslaught of styles includes all walks of life, led by fashion-forward trailblazers such as Andrew Luck, who clearly doesn’t give a shit and never will give a shit.

Unfortunately, not everyone is so naturally suave like Russell Wilson, so it’s not uncommon to see that — at times — the ensemble most certainly does NOT work; like that time earlier this season when Eli Manning wore a suit with stunning sky blue chalk lines.

No one! Absolutely f’ing no one. These last four weeks will include every storied clown we’ve gotten to know so well this season.

Sam Bradford

via MinnesotaVikings.com

It took him 14 weeks, but Sam Bradford finally changed jackets. Having said that, at least a few times during each of his press conferences good old Sam looks like he’s just been slapped with stunning allegations, causing a huge uproar in the courtroom.

But hell, what a difference a couple weeks makes. He got a haircut and looks more NFL Quarterback than he does confused puppy who’s locked into an insane trance, just waiting for the tennis ball.

via Minnesota Vikings.com

Marcus Mariota

Marcus Mariota’s outstanding mustache is now sadly gone. This was pretty much expected as “Movember” has come to rather tragic end. But still…

Cam Newton

Well, this just about perfect. If someone had told me at the beginning of the season that Cam Newton would stroll up to the podium in Week 14 dressed like an old lady enjoying her retirement, I would’ve hardly blinked.

Cam is definitely purposely trolling the hell out the world, right? If he’s not, I guess he’s just insane.

Andy Dalton

via Bengals.com

Andy Dalton was back with a vengeance via a pretty sharp scarf/jacket combo. And his hair game just refuses to stop.

Trimming mustache with beard

Aaron Rodgers

I realize it’s Green Bay but Aaron Rodgers and his deep adoration for bacon-necked undershirts is second to none.

Of the major NFL stars, he is by far and away the biggest disaster when it comes to having any kind of style that isn’t awful.

Russell Wilson

See, Aaron. Ask Russ who helps him get suited up. He managed to do just fine — off the field — while dealing with unfavorable conditions.

Jermaine Kearse

https://twitter.com/Seahawks/status/808008531655806976

In fact, everyone on the Seahawks did exceptionally well. Jermaine Kearse has absolutely seized control of the boot game.

Tyrod Taylor

T-Smooth, the most underrated dresser in the NFL and possibly the world. He probably has the highest percentage of kills at the podium this season.

Andrew Luck

via Colts.com

The Colts site didn’t have anything from Luck following the game, so this press conference is actually from last Wednesday but it certainly delivers the necessary dose of Andrew Luck Face.

What a treasure. A freak, frightening treasure.

Some Dude On The Lions

Kyle Rudolph

Kyle Rudolph will flat-out murder you if you ask him to wear an undershirt.

Fair enough, Kyle. Fair enough.

Matthew Stafford

via DetroitLions.com

The jacket doesn’t have the best fit and the whole thing is a little clunky, but Matt Stafford was spotted smiling. Again.

Facial hair mustache

The Lions improved to 9-4 and all we’re waiting for now are the wheels to come flying off the road like wild chickens.

Derrick Henry

via TitansOnline.com

Von Miler’s Cleats

https://twitter.com/adidasFballUS/status/807993790845722624

Anyone whose cleats were inspired by Polish roosters is a friend of mine.

Von Miller apparently studied poultry science at Texas A&M and raises his own chickens. So hence, rooster cleart it is!

In short, if you don’t love Von Miller or these cleats, then please leave the room. NOW.

Matt Barkley

https://twitter.com/ChicagoBears/status/808082098649202690

Every time the Bears post a photo of Matt Barkley, it appears he would love nothing more than eat his own shoe.

But then all of the sudden he completely flips the script and morphs into Newsie Matt Barkley.

https://twitter.com/ChicagoBears/status/808349353492496391

No one was made prouder by this moment than storied old timey paperboy, Bob Costas.

Josh Norman’s Cleats

https://twitter.com/adidasFballUS/status/807997367500685312

Thin mustache and beard

“Because the old ones became my fans.

Simply superb. And really hoping that he sent a pair to Odell Beckham Jr.

Bonus Round: The Phantom Muppet

I always enjoy when a random Muppet head makes an appearance at these things.

Poor Davante Adams deserved far better.

Warren Buffet, the new Mean Gene.

For more scorching takes with extra sizzle and general nonsense, follow Tim Ryan on Twitter and Instagram. For a look at last season’s colorful ride at the podium, each of those installments can be found right here.

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Posted by at 04:26AM

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